After processing through the BDSM questionnaire surveys filled in by the "bottoms" of the BDSM world, a fascinating pattern is emerging from the thousands of cells of data.
It is not a random scatter graph. It is not a bell curve.
It is a loosely fight-flight-freeze-fawn pattern in response to a force power with "thewen" impact, in a setting of captivity / bondage to a person or people.
Most people were a mix of predominant two of the below. (And often, but not always - one was somewhat more predominant than their second.)
The following is under Copyright Anne O Nomis, 4 October 2021, and will be more fully developed in my upcoming book.
A) Role identity in relation to Dominant
submissive --> loosely "fawn" approach in animal terms but richness of rather human complexity of psychological approach. Wanting to give of themselves, wanting to please their Dominant, wanting to know what their Dominant enjoys and doesn't. Rewarded by the smile and pleasure of their Dominant. Wanting to go along with what their Dominant would like, to a significant degree. Aware also though of her sensitivities and sore points. A style of language and expression which is characterised by politeness, amusing, flattering and companionate style which is very considerate of its effects on their Dominant. Adoring and devoted. To relate to historical forms, a vassal to their Dominant, who is familiar and close to their Dominant, and wants to reflect well on them. Attendant and considerate to the desires, needs and wishes of their Dominant, and protective of their Dominant and strong for their Dominant. This may include active performance of oral sex, as well as being subject to the Dominant's preferences of play, and openness to a large degree with generosity of giving over their body and mind to their Dominant's play desires. They enjoy activities which play particularly with connection, often symbolised by bondage, physical intimacy proximity to their Dominant, and taking some degree of pain to please their Dominant, and evidence their devotion to their Dominant.
The Middle English / Old French vassal from Medieval Latin "vassallus" was manservant, domestic, retainer, from "vassus" servant, Gaulish wassos young man, squire, and Proto-Celtic *wastos ("servant"). Similar terms in Old Irish "foss" and Welsh "gwas".
A "rough" of the structure I am seeing in the data. Most people are two quadrants predominant, in general terms.
slave --> loosely "flight" turned to "toil" (labour, duties, service) in bondage / captivity, with human complexity of psychological approach. The slaves want to be run by their Dominant, to be given purpose, challenges, duties, under collar / yoke. This can take a variety of forms such as service submission, running errands, boot-blacking, maid duties, helping their Dominant create something under the Dominant's instruction commands. A useful term I came across was ""toil and moil", to work hard, to drudge. The word "moil" comes from Old French moiller "paddle in mud, moisten", based on Latin mollis (soft), and can be likened to getting oneself dirty in muddy fields, or a maid doing dishes with muddy dishwater. There is a preparedness to get ones hand's dirty, and an almost romance of drudgery that must be enlivened by task enrichment and excitement of new challenges and development of the slave. And they wish to be driven, with Dominant as "slave driver" if you will. Given challenges, instruction commands, their work evaluated, and they are sent off to work often with some distance and then the Dominant comes into closeness to check over that work. (I imagine with punishment as seen fit - wink.) The captivity collar / yoke or attire of role such as slave collar, or butler or maid etc - may come into play.
The etymological root of slave *threh is "to run"; Proto-Germanic *thrakhilaz (slave) "runner", German dregil "servant / runner", and Old English þrægan "to run". This links also to the term "thrall", the lowest of the three-tiered social order of the Germanic peoples but who received protection. It is from the slave term "thrall" that we get the word "enthrall" meaning to hold spellbound, to capture the attention of, or to enslave.
On the BDSM "slave", see earlier blog post "What a slave needs" with account by the late david stein (who preferred his name rendered in lowercase, which I honour):
https://historyofthedominatrix.com/blogs/blog/what-a-slave-needs-personal-view-by-slave-david-stein
kinky surrenderer / kinkster --> loosely a "floppy / freeze" state depending on individual, and a "do me" form of submission, of "I'll lie back and deliciously take it". This may include according to preference, the sexually passive role, the receiver of anal / pegging, face-sitting upon them, and use in gang-bang activities in which they are passive role receiver. They tend to enjoy feeling captured and captive, and being made helpless by way of bondage, including ropes bondage, leather bondage. Higher intensity forms include incapacitation bondage, suspension from a steel frame so that they experience weightlessness amplifying their sense of helplessness and surrender, use of leather or latex body bags as containment, and hoods as "head trips", alongside gags. Once in this state, application of stimulus or torture (CBT cock and ball torture, genital torture, or NT nipple torture), while in bondage restraint, or other intense sensory play, serves to set of a shot of chemicals of the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response but unable to move and only potentially wriggle against the bondage, results in a delicious bathing or basking in the arousal activation and its drug-like effect, and go off into "la-la land" / sub-space / floating or flying off into space as it is variously referred to in BDSM circles. Breathplay and tubes further intensify the effect of total surrender, and their life being in their Dominant's hands and power. Some like being virtually "frozen" in a position by objectification as human furniture, table or chair, statue, made into a doll. For some this may be medical play in which they are often secured or strapped down to a medical or gynaecological bench, and made helpless while medical examination and manipulations of their body take place, use of vaginal or anal speculums, dental gags, nipple clamps and surgical play. For others there exists the possibility of infantalism in the surrender state, attended to as a baby or infant, with diaper nappies, and bottles; in which Dominant role is that of "Care-taker". For others it may be kidnapping and interrogation torture while in a passive receiving role as the framing of the play.
Some relevant terms to think about this role are Latin "prehensio" - of taking, taking hold, seizing, grasping, hoist and winch; "captum" captive, and "rapina" kidnapping, rape, plunder. (In a consensual BDSM context I am referring to consensual desired-for and requested activities of these kinky surrenders.) The forms the kinky surrender desires is to be taken, held, captive, desired and chosen (prey) of the Dominant and in erotic terms.
Photo of my students with a "kinky surrenderer" in latex vac bed. (From Dominatrix Seven Realm Arts certificate course - 8 weeks length)
Masochists (Thews) --> loosely a "deflect" strategy which I have located within the fight segment as so ends up with a pointy wedge shape, which I think rather appropriately satisfying for the masochists. There is an adversarial and self-interest flavour which came across in the data, focused on gaining advantage.
Activity-wise, masochists are a "thew me" / "thew me harder!" / "do your worst", in which I am drawing from the term "thewen" that I've outlined in previous blog posts which is from Middle English thewen, from Old English þēowan, þȳwan ("to press, impress, force, press on, urge on, drive, press with a weapon, thrust, pierce, stab, threaten, rebuke, subjugate, crush, push, oppress, check"), from Proto-Germanic*þewjaną ("to enslave, oppress").
Masochistic preferences of form can be very individual fetishistic preferences in some cases influenced by childhood and in those cases many of you have written about the background of coming to the particular "thing" and activity you have.
What I've found absolutely fascinating when I've gone through the data, is that the forms this take tend to concentrate and intensify force energy.
For example the stiletto point trampling, in which there is a often preference for a thin talon stiletto that intensifies force (to more than that of an elephant due to the tiny surface area of the point).
Caning is one of the preferred implements of some masochists and again we have the intensity of the cane stroke as directing strong force. Also up high on the list is face-slapping, spitting, ball-busting, humiliation, pissing, piercing, needleplay, and even branding. "You're evil", says the masochist, wanting exactly that treatment. The masochist wants the strong will of the Dominant with psychological intensity and cruelty marked by glee in her / his / their eyes.
The glee may also be in the masochist's eyes; for this is a mental challenge battle of psychological and physical intensity, and cause-and-effect. Energy is rebounded or return-served back and forth, and the masochist may act like a rider who crops/whips its horse to spur it on, by an insult or challenge. ("You hit like a girl!", a class masochist might say to one of my Dominatrix Seven Realm Arts course students, spurring them to irritation, challenge or outrage to hit harder.)
Masochists typically rated very low on self-reported slave quotient (a 0-100 slider bar scale), compared to other psychologies, and higher on switch scale evidencing a high versatility and switch-ability.
What theoretical paradigm does this fit?
The US therapist Pete Walker wrote a book titled Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (2014), which features tables on his conception of "Positive Characteristic of the Four F's" and "Detrimental Characteristics of the 4F Defences" on pp.106-107. He was focused on survivors of complex PTSD and 4F survival strategies in response to activated fight-flight-freeze-fawn response of those who lived through a long-term situation of abuse and captivity, or childhood with an abusive or narcissistic parent.
As far as I am aware, this model has never before been applied to BDSM, and there was no "deflect" option (the masochist "thew" in my model) in Walker's conception.
However the structural model I have outlined is a good fit for the BDSM data bottoms surveys, including slider bar scales (0-100 scale self-reported), activity preferences, and values rated on 1-5 scale importance. Many of whom also indicated childhood with a narcissistic or Borderline parent, as well as some noting spending a long period in hospital for multiple operations and physically restrained to stop them from bumping or removing bandaging as a child, others at boarding schools and caned, and others who experienced assaults. Others are unsure where their "proclivities" have come from - it's a complex picture inevitably, and one that is nuanced and complex.
I wish to make it clear that my own position is that I don't wish to use the term "trauma" for experiences which have left impressions which are complex, multi-faceted and I don't wish to attach negativistic leaning on interpretation. Preferring instead terms such as - Impressions of force power impact on a person / people in captive environment and/or attachment (bondage) relationships.
The theory isn't "universalising" in as far as it depends on force power and captivity or bondage, and eroticization of "magnificent sublime" force power impact; thus according to my model, I believe BDSM will increase or decrease relative to these forces and constraints, and operate in the underground or sprout up into greater visibility relative to cultural-historical factors (social acceptability etc). Interestingly Masoch has things to say on this also, which are made more clear in some of his less well-known writings.
The fight-flight-freeze-fawn + deflect model also "fits" the etymology of language terms used for different kinds of slaves and servants across a huge swathe of historical-cultural contexts, of the vassal (vassallus, vassus, wassos, wastos, foss, gwas) ; the threh / thrall runner (dregil, þrægan), and the thew; Mesopotamian assinu etc, in which the forms of submission, subservience or surrender to a stronger power are organised around the "4Fs" with accordant roles.
Fetishists discussion will go onto a new blog post
I will include discussion:
* Time travel (to time of fetish formation) and revival with variations-on-theme, such as Corporal Punishment fetishists which are one of the most common that Dominatrices see and has been a theme of their craft for hundreds of years recreating such scenes from their client's childhoods and specific implements used.
* Membranes as distancers, insulators, translators and second skin effect, such as leather and latex which are also hugely common, but also hoisery, silk, cashmere, fur fetishists.
* Spikes as distancers and punctuation "thewen" effect force intensifier, and other force intensifier objects made animate by extension of body force extending limb (such as trampling stiletto shoes, prosthetic limbs, cane as an extension of the arm, baton as extension of fist, etc)
* Force power impact intensification site fetishes such as symphorophilia (fetish for car crashes), ceraunophilia and brontophilia (fetish for thunderstorms), which pair beautifully to the discussion of higher force power and impact as arousal site.
* Kinky surrenderer fetishes in realm of helplessness and total control and dependence, which such as apotemnophilia (fetish to be amputated) / acrotomophilia (fetish towards amputee(s), feeder fetishes, infantalism and adult baby and diaper fetishists.
These can all be interwoven into a more cohesive framework.
To be continued.
Anne O Nomis
PS With spanks and thanks to my patrons who have sponsored my upcoming book, an English translation of Leopold von Sacher Masoch's 'The Emissary' (via this page https://www.payit2.com/f/the-emissary/Goddess ). I am writing an essay on a model of "thew" masochism, discussing Leopold von Sacher Masoch and Masoch's idea of oppressive force and its effects on people in Galicia, in historical context and theoretical terms. (Not the casual news style of my blogs, intended for a general audience). This will go out as a pdf and e-book with essay and English translation of 'The Emissary' to sponsors on Christmas Eve 2021.
And if you'd like to email me about anything in today's blog post: anneonomis@live.com