The death of an S/M elder: Jay Wiseman (author of SM 101) passed away

On 7 September, 2026, we learned about the sad passing of Jay Wiseman, the author of arguably the best known book on BDSM in the world - SM 101: A Realistic Introduction. He will be much missed by those in the scene.

The news circulated around amongst close friends and contacts of Jay. Although no statement has yet been released via official channels - his death was posted by Lee Harrington, and was confirmed by his former partner Janet Hardy, who was contacted by his children that morning. This source is reputable - as Janet Hardy is Jay's former partner and they ran 'Greenery Press' formerly together, and Janet is the author of the Lady Green books; and with Dossie Eaton - 'The Topping Book' and 'The Bottoming Book' amongst many other titles.

As I am fielding calls for information on his passing on my side of the world, I have put together the information I have for others within the scene, and send my deepest condolences to his close family and friends.

Jay Wiseman

Jay Wiseman was born in 1949, and was aged 77 at the time of his passing, and was known Internationally as a BDSM author and educator. 

Wiseman was also a qualified teacher of CPR and First Aid, and had paramedic training, which was an invaluable addition to his perspective on medical aspects of BDSM and the dangers of breathplay - which he wrote an influential article on, and which remains ever-relevant today.  (For those wanting to read it - his article The Medical Realities of Breath Control is here)

He authored SM 101: A Realistic Introduction at a time when there was very little by way of books available on BDSM in the mainstream. (There were a number available in the predominantly gay S/M leatherman scene prior.) For many people - it was the first ever book they purchased or read on BDSM, and was regarded as a kind of 'mini BDSM bible', and guide for exploration with helpful practical information. It went on to be republished numerous times over, selling over 100,000 copies in print. 

The publishing house, Greenery Press was one of the most important sexuality and BDSM title publishers in its generation - originally founded by Janet Hardy in 1991 marketed as "reading for the sexually adventurous" and it merged in 1995 with Jay Wiseman Books under the Greenery Press name. Janet Hardy and Jay Wiseman were partners, and I will leave Janet to write in due course her own account of Jay, and it feels insensitive for me to speak to their incredibly close relationship and work together.

Janet Hardy published under psuedonyms of Lady Green and Catherine A. Listz (now well-known and so I am not doxxing her to name her), while Jay Wiseman published under his own name. Both Hardy and Wiseman were active in the San Francisco S/M scene. 

Jay Wiseman had prior self-published The Bay Area Sexuality Resources Guidebook (1991) - which catalogued the available sex-positive, alternative, and specialized sexual health, community, and lifestyle resources across the San Francisco Bay Area. By that time, Wiseman had been in the SM scene for a little while - according to his own account since 1975 when he first attended Backdrop, and a few years later attending his first Janus function in 1977 or 78, at a time when SM was much more taboo, and the community much smaller and more underground. (1)

The early days of Greenery Press were "spiral-bound books and quick-printed as needed". (2) One anecdote recalls that when Janet Hardy first looked into doing perfect-bound books requiring a minimum print run of 2000 copies, several banks "snickered politely", and so Hardy put out a call was put out to backers in a quarterly newsletter - receiving enough money to perfect-bind five books. (2)

Early titles for Greenery Press included Janet Hardy and Dossie Eaton's The Topping Book and The Bottoming Book (1994), with Jay Wiseman's SM 101: A Realistic Introduction (c1994) Second Edition published in the new revised and expanded perfect-bound form. 

Other Jay Wiseman titles for Greenery Press into the late 1990s included Supermarket Tricks: More than 125 Ways to Improvise Good Sex (1998) and Tricks: More than 125 Ways to Make Good Sex Better (1998).

He taught on topics relating to sexuality and S/M, and his paramedic knowledge and background in teaching CPR and First Aid informed his perspective on medical issues in BDSM and on the risks of breathplay. 

In the early 2000s, he published Jay Wiseman's Tricks to Please a Woman (2002) and Jay Wiseman's Tricks to Please a Man (2004) - both under Greenery Press.

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The success and royalties from SM 101 / Greenery Press enabled Jay Wiseman to put himself through the New College of California School of Law in 2002-2005, where he reportedly later became an adjunct professor - teaching 'Advanced Legal Concepts' and 'Legal Analysis' (3). He also went on to use his legal insight as an expert witness in cases involving BDSM, and particularly those involving erotic asphyxiation (AKA breath control play), and consent issues. (4)

Throughout his life, he continued to both write articles and also update or lightly edit earlier articles on S/M and sexuality, always with a mind for offering practical and usable reference information for his readers. One of his classics included Ten Tips for Novice Dungeon Monitors (1998, revised in 2023 here).

He also published two books on bondage - The Toybag Guide to Basic Rope Bondage (2010) and Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook (2016) - by Greenery Press.

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Jay Wiseman was recognised by the Society of Janus Hall of Fame in October 2014, on their 40th anniversary, an honour he was very proud to receive.

In his later years, Jay sadly suffered some medical challenges posted about to his friends and close contacts, which out of respect for privacy and without knowing the wishes of his family - I have presently opted not to share.

Jay Wiseman earlier this year married his partner of four years, Coryl "Corrie" Lassen on May 16th, 2026, and seemed very happy, posting how incredibly lucky he regarded himself to have found "this absolutely wonderful woman". He shared a photograph of his wedding publicly and proudly, on his Facebook, and I have posted it here in the belief that this is the image he would want to be remembered by - smiling and happy with Corrie, and who he'd mentioned when we last Zoomed. (However I will defer to any family member if it is preferred I take down this image.)

Jay Wiseman's passing was reported by on a Lee Harrington Facebook post and then onto me (yes it's all a very typical BDSM scene news trickle-down of how we pass on information within our community). People were naturally distressed, as was I, and additionally unsure whether to believe it - having not read any "official" statement as yet on his death, and given today's modern media proclivity to circulate fake news.

Sadly, it is true, and now confirmed from multiple sources. Janet Hardy heard the news from Wiseman's children who contacted her.

Jay Wiseman and his wife Corrie had been to Europe for their honeymoon, combined with a teaching gig. Through what Janet Hardy recounts as a "clusterfuck" of circumstances - Mt Etna erupting, a record European heat wave, cancelled flights that involved lots of walking, substandard travel, staying in iffy and non air-conditioned lodgings, all combined to impact negatively upon Jay who developed two serious infections - one from a wound in his knee and the other an infection in his toes - so severe as to necessitate metatarsal (toe) amputation. Jay was in hospital recovering and appeared to be rallying, recently visited, before being found by a nurse unresponsive without a pulse. Although CPR was performed, tragically the doctors were unable to bring him back, and he passed away, age 77. We send all our thoughts and best wishes to his beloved wife Corrie, and his children and family.

He leaves behind an enormous legacy, and will be remembered particularly for his involvement in the Bay Area sex-positive and SM scene, his 1990s and 2000s books and legacy with Greenery Press; as an S/M, sexuality and medically-knowledgeable educator all over the USA, and for many in the world - as their first introduction to BDSM and kink through SM 101.

References:

(1) Wiseman, Jay (undated) 'An essay about the old days', viewable at: https://web.archive.org/web/20080908112608/http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/olddays.htm

(2) Highleyman, Liz (1997) '3 of the Best: Small Pervert Presses Fill the Gap' in Cuir Underground, Issue 3.6, Summer 1997, viewable at: http://www.black-rose.com/cuiru/archive/3-6/press.html

(3) Jay Wiseman's Linkedin profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jay-wiseman-%F0%9F%87%BA%F0%9F%87%A6-a5046032/

(4) For his breathplay article see: Wiseman, Jay (2025) 'The Medical Realities of Breath Control Play' at: https://medium.com/@jaywiseman/the-medical-realities-of-breath-control-play-79441bb2fe47 and his Jay Wiseman website here: https://jaywiseman.com/wordpress/

Jay Wiseman's books included:

• SM101: A Realistic Introduction (1994, republished numerous times) Greenery Press
• Supermarket Tricks: More than 125 ways to improvise good sex (1998)
• Tricks: More than 125 ways to make good sex better (1998)
• Jay Wiseman's Tricks to Please a Woman (2002) Greenery Press
• Jay Wiseman's Tricks to Please a Man (2004) Greenery Press
• The Toybag Guide to Basic Rope Bondage (2010) Greenery Press
• The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies (2012) Greenery Press
• Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook (2016) Greenery Press